You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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