someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
