Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
