youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
