every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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