Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i love accidental penises.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
