You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
