Me too!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
