yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
