Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
