Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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