your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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