What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
