I wish I only lived at night.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
