In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
