Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
