You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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