my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
BRING THE BAGELS
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
