babies were throwing up all over the place
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
