CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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