i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
