We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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