ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
