TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
handjob tips. give me some.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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