Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
