I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
