That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
