Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
