I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
