omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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