does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
