dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
