Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
