you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
