no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
