Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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