Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
