I need help removing her.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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