Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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