Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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