so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
