I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
