My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
