I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
