this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
