that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
