So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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