THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
