It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
