I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
